9. dream house

While we're working through the steps of selling our current house, we are also working on figuring out where we are going to live next. This is actually a lot more complicated than one might expect. But first let me back up a bit and tell you about where I grew up...

When I was in elementary school, I was raised in a small town of about 65,000 people (interestingly, almost the exact same size as Great Falls today!). My parents lived in one house, a classic bungalow fixer-upper until I was in second grade, then in a new-construction house on the other side of town until I was in 5th grade. I loved the town I grew up in - the cute downtown area, the local liberal arts college, and the vibrant sense of belonging (exhibit A: the annual Flag Day parade that basically the whole town attends).

When I was in 5th grade, however, my parents relocated to the "big city" of the neighboring state.  I remember not wanting to move, but then absolutely loving it once we settled in - there was so much to see and do, and we were busy all the time with exploring the greater metro area. As a teenager, it was awesome to be in the heart of the metropolis.

Except that I wasn't really. Because when I was in junior high, my parents decided to stop renting (which had been their plan for the first couple years, as they got their bearings on the new area) and to start building their dream house out in the exurbs. They settled for 2.5 acres on a pond, and the small development was surrounded by acres of grass and fields and, well, nothingness. Kind of the exact opposite of what my teenager self wanted. I loved the city! I wanted to be close to my friends! My anxiety made me want nothing more than to fit in, and living in the boondocks just made me weird and different, which is simply the kiss of death for a teenager.

But mostly what I remember about that house was how the financial strain of building had negatively affected my parents (and thus me) and how the f***ing birds would wake me up at the crack of noon on the weekends. (I still hate those birds!)

Now fast forward to me being about the same age now as my parents were back when they built their dream house, and what do you think Husband and I are looking for? Uhh...acreage, wilderness, water, wildlife, and plenty nearby to explore...

In other words:

But although Husband and I have similar visions for our eventual dream house (at least passive solar, preferably fully solar powered, potentially off-grid, 10+ acres, in a good school district, close to the mountains, room for livestock, space for large gardens), we are definitely not on the same page with other things....

Husband wants to build us a house. By hand. With his own hands. From scratch.

Now, I do a lot from scratch (baking, quilting), and I can definitely see the appeal of the pride of construction.  But building a house is at the very top of my list of "things I will never plan to do because I would be completely and utterly incompetent at it." Ikea tests the limits of my construction abilities, which should really tell you something about how I should not be trusted to do anything more complex than, say, changing a light bulb.

This is not to say that I don't think Husband can do it. In fact, I have every confidence that he could do a great job building us a house...if we had unlimited time and money. But my previous experiences with my parents building their home was that, even when working with a great contractor, everything takes at least twice as long and costs twice as much as you might expect. And that adage has come true with everything minor home repair or remodeling project that Husband and I have tackled to date.  So, while the idea of Husband building us a house is certainly appealing, the reality of coming home to a construction zone for a couple years (while adjusting to a new job and to being the sole breadwinner in the family) is definitely not as appealing.

Thus we're at a bit of an impasse. I'm advocating for a finished house that still has plenty for Husband to do outside (e.g., adding a small cabin for guests, building a chicken coop, setting up a homestead garden). Husband is hoping to buy raw land (and rent a small house/apartment while he builds) or to buy a livable "shack" on lots of acres so we can live there while he builds us our dream house.

Slightly different visions.

For now, we're simply hoping that our respective visions will converge when we go house-hunting at the end of the month...